POLYAMORY: THE MORE LOVING PERSPECTIVE
Dr. Sasha (Alex) Lessin & Janet Kira Lessin

Answer Questions from the More Loving Perspective
  
 
Starting Triad


Question: My husband, Phil, who is forever my beloved, my Soulmate, and I mostly practiced monogamy for 15 years.  A few years ago, we began loving others couples and some good friends.  Then, last year, I found and loved my Twin Flame, a wonderful, conscious man who moves in with us next week.

     "Enjoy Flame.  Share your joy with me," Phil says.  Phil's done lots of emotional rescripting and says he opens his heart in friendship and love to Flame.

     Phil also admits he's afraid he'll lose some of the closeness and specialness he feels with me.  Overall, though, Phil expects to love me more, he says, as he loves himself more and demands less support from me.  I'm afraid he's somewhat in denial and would like suggestions on how to start and nurture our triad.

Sasha: Communicate clearly and often.  Within a day after Flame's moved in, all three of you get together and share your hopes and fears, thoughts and feelings, 
visions and intentions.

  Write a Mission Statement for the triad. Put the mission statement on the refrigerator door; read it aloud each week.
    
     Enjoy quality time alone with Flame and with Phil. Make sure they get time alone together.  Do things with both of them.  Spend time alone; suggest that Flame and Phil also experience alone time.

     Meet your own needs and ask Leo and Flame to meet theirs.  Don't drain yourself trying to emotionally shield either of them.  Just flow from your own loving center and bless them as they learn to become bigger in their love for you and each other.