POLYAMORY: THE MORE LOVING PERSPECTIVE
Dr. Sasha (Alex) Lessin & Janet Kira Lessin

Answer Questions from the More Loving Perspective
  
 
He Wants More Sex Than She


Question: My husband likes to make love more than I. I love making love with him. I have an easy flowing time and I find him sexy and juicy. I feel so satisfied afterward that it takes me a few days to feel sexy again. He's ready the next day. I don't know what to do. I've tried just having sex with him when I don't feel like it, but it really isn't satisfying for either of us. I don't want him to feel frustrated. I don't know what to do.

Sasha
: If you and your husband are open to him loving others, encourage him to find other intimates who'd enjoy him sexually and who support your relationship to him too.  Discuss what sexual sharing means to each of you. What does your husband want from the lovemaking? Does he want to feel close to you? Does he want an orgasm? Nurturing? Where if the energy coming from that urges him on toward intercourse?

The Rape of Europa - Titian

     If he wants connectedness and nurturing, one way we like, described our book, How to Really Love a Woman, tells you to sit facing each other, knee to knee. Place his right hand on your heart and his left hand on your genitals; let him place your hands the same way on him. Put your brows together and, for five minutes, take three RECIPROCAL CHARGED BREATHS. Breathe in while he breathes out. Hold your air in while he holds his lungs empty.  Then he inhales as you exhale. Hold your lungs empty while he holds his lungs full.

    Think of him as you exhale and say to yourself, "I love you." When you inhale, drink his breath and silently say, "You love me." Take three reciprocal charged breaths and feel loving energy moving between your perineums (security center [chakra] as you subvocalize "I love you" and "you love me". Take three reciprocal breaths as you commune love at your belly (power), throat (communication), brow (vision) and crown (spiritual) chakras.  Our book describes many such exercises access the divine in each other.

     We often get clients in relationships in which one partner wants sex more than the other. Communicate your love and desire for your partner, and your desire to be true to your own needs. Honor both of your rhythms of sexual contact and the rhythm within your relationship. Gaze adoringly in each others' eyes, bathe and massage each other and check out How to Really Love a Woman, Your energies will align and the passion between you will align as well.