POLYAMORY: THE MORE LOVING PERSPECTIVE
Dr. Sasha (Alex) Lessin & Janet Kira Lessin

Answer Questions from the More Loving Perspective
  
 
He Threatens Exit When  She Loves Another


Question from Chris of Tiburon: My boyfriend, Jamie, is due to leave Ohio and join my husband Rex and, Greta--our female beloved--in our home this month.  In the meantime, I connected with a new lover, Brad.  When I told Jamie about Brad, Jamie said he now felt less special and may not come. 

    I waver.   I waver between disappointment and acceptance of Jamie’s process.  If he doesn’t meet my standards and resolve his separating defenses, I don’t want him in my home.

Sasha: Right on, Chris.  Demand the best.  Have Jamie share his vulnerabilities--fears, insecurities, hurts--under his withdrawal threats.

     Tell him to honor his tendency to withdraw, reflect, then return with more balanced perspectives.  Demand he grow up and work through his jealousy if he wants to share the cornucopia you seem to be creating.

Legacy of Love - Kevin Barnes